Pilot [1.1]

Ruth: Fuck.

Debbie: Don't swear in front of Randy.

Ruth: I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Debbie: I'm kidding. Of course you can swear in front of him. He's a fucking baby.

Ruth: It just happened.

Debbie: Haven't you learned anything from that sad fucking scene study class? Things don't just happen. People make choices. They want things, and then they go for them.

Slouch. Submit. [1.2]

Sam: Wolf lady, what's your story?

Sheila: Sheila.

Sam: Sheila.

Sheila: And I have a very acute sense of smell.

Sam: Yeah? What cologne am I wearing?

Sheila: Drakkar Noir.

Sam: Trick question. Not wearing cologne. But I do spray that on my clothes if I forget to do laundry, so points for that.

Melrose: Who doesn't trust a man with a mustache full of coke?

Sam: So you're gonna leave him?

Debbie: Why, you wanna have sex with him, too? I have no idea what I'm going to do.

Sam: My wife cheated on me with my Steadicam operator. Not my best friend, but technically I was paying him to fuck my wife. So the next day I walked out. I quit the marriage. I quit the movie. I even left my dog. Got on a plane for Vegas. Two weeks later, I woke up, felt a lot better about myself.

Debbie: Thank you, that's great advice.

Perverts Are People, Too [2.5]

Debbie: Men try shit, you have to pretend to like it until you don't have to anymore.

Ruth: It shouldn't be that way.

Debbie: No, it shouldn't, and women should get to direct and not be washed up by the time they're 30, and I should have gotten to eat a piece of my own wedding cake without worrying about how many minutes of Jane fucking Fonda it was gonna take to work it off, but that is the way it is.